everything's confusing but I'm sorting it.

In the last year I've read and watched so many motivational speakers and have drastically changed my thinking and in turn my mood. My life is so much better now, in the way I think about life but there are also a lot of things I have wanted to do, that I sought motivation for in the first place, which I have not been proactive about at all. I am so much happier and optimistic now, but the one thing I still want to change is my motivation to follow my dreams. I agree we should live in the moment and enjoy each and every one but at the same time I'm also wasting the moment in my eyes. I'm not like Eckhart Tolle who can just be content all the time and be able to sit for years doing nothing. Maybe i'll be there one day but for now there are a lot of things I aspire to do, I'm just not doing.

Kyle cease talks about talking about doing but not actually doing.

Whenever I think about my aspirations and dreams, there always seems to be this fog in the way and I can't see clearly, it's like there is too much I want to do at once and they're all bumping into each other. One thing I've always said I would do and have had countless 'new years resolutions' (which are also sabotaging) about is getting really healthy and fit. I love yoga and natural healing and I really do believe 'you are what you eat', yet I still watch TV whist eating a bucket of crap then take a paracetamol before bed for my caffeine headache, all of which conflicts with my moral believes. I've come to realise this 'fog' is me being sucked into the whole "life gets in the way of your dreams" mind set. I want to live a life that reflects my views and dreams and the best way I feel in which to start is to tackle nutrition and fitness. After and during which I feel a lot of my other goals will fall into place. I feel like this will clear the 'fog', I'll have a sharper mind, better focus and be motivated. 

One thing on my bucket list, which I have now posted in a font nothing like the rest of my page because I can't seem to figure out what it is, is that I would like to cure my asthma. That probably sounds impossible but I've done a lot of research into this and there are plenty of people who have naturally cured their asthma (you just have to type cure asthma into youtube). Certain people want you to believe every illness is life long and it's obvious why but I never like to look at things as the be and end all. 

One thing I've noted from a lot of people is that dairy can cause or make asthma worse, my aim for the next month then is to cut out dairy and see if it is effecting me in some way. This in turn should cause me to eat healthier because I'm being mindful about what goes in my mouth. I'll keep posting here about how things go but I think nutrition definitely needs to be my main focus right now, my mind is not focused or sharp at all and that makes it hard for me the live in line with my morals and really be present. There's too much going on in my brain because of poor nutrition and it's clear to me now that I've again been slowly becoming a slave to the 'matrix'.